Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
