How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
