do herpes really smell.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
