If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
