"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
