dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
