I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
