Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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