and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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