no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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