this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
