I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
