Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
sex in a hospital.. check
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
