Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
