I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
