She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
