there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
