I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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