I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize