Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
