nut hugger
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize