Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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