left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
