Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize