i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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