I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
