Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
