Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
