I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
