good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
