You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
