I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
