do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
