You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
