Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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