5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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