I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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