I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
whose parrot is this?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize