I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
never play flip cup with pint glasses
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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