Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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