More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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