Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
