I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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