Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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