I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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