i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
