I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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