some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we made out on top of his cat.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
