fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
