she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize