All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
