Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize