Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
