Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize