Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she smelled like a LAN party
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
