At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
