He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
