somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
